


wheel in the sky

by havisham



Category: Captain Marvel (2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bittersweet, Emotional Edging, F/F, Goose: A Totally Normal Cat, Roleswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 10:15:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18193247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havisham/pseuds/havisham
Summary: wheel in the sky keeps on turnin' /I've been trying to make it homeEarthbound and grieving, Carol Danvers has to remake herself once again.





	wheel in the sky

Carol woke up to the sound of her phone ringing off its hook. She hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in weeks and she was tempted to let it just ring out. But there was something that stopped her. The way it kept ringing. Something was up. Something was wrong. When she picked up the phone to say hello, she was greeted by Maria’s voice, going a mile a minute. 

“Carol, I need you to watch Monica tonight. Doc’s got a thing she needs to test and --” 

“Hey, Maria, wait -- where are you? It’s my turn to --” 

“There’s no time. Can you get here by seven? I’ll tell you everything when I get back. I need to do this, Carol. And I don’t trust anyone here with Monica except you. Can you come?” 

Of course, she said yes. 

*

Carol had met Maria in flight school and it had been love at first sight. Then she spotted the ring on Maria’s finger and had to pull it back a little bit. They’d become fast friends, anyhow, and Carol soon grew confident that they had each other’s back, no matter what. The reason for that ring -- Maria’s husband, Charlie -- was a sweet guy and a second grade teacher. When three years into their friendship, Charlie died in a car accident -- drunk driver t-boned his Toyota Corolla in a busy intersection -- things got rough and stayed rough for a long time. 

Maria talked about quitting the Air Force and going back to Louisiana. Her parents could help raise Monica and she could -- here, she swallowed hard and Carol could see her struggling to put aside her dreams, the same ones that Carol shared.

“No,” Carol said. 

Maria raised her brows. “Excuse me?” 

“I don’t want to let you quit.” 

“What’s that about letting me? Carol, it’s my decision.” 

“Yeah. I know, I know, it’s your decision. I respect that. But you’re my friend, and if it was me who wanted to quit, I know you’d pull me back from that. So I’m doing that for you.”

Maria was silent for a long time. The living room around them was dark and quiet except for the soft sounds of the clock in the kitchen and the reflection of headlights across the windows, one or two per hour. Monica had gone to bed, long ago. She hadn’t even put up much of fight, getting there. The idea that kids didn’t understand death was bullshit. Monica understood it, but it made as much sense to her as it did to Carol -- in that it didn’t. 

“Charlie -- he supported me, loved me, was there for me. I could stay out here, have Monica and fly, with him around. I need someone with me. What am I gonna do now?” 

“You have me.” Carol squared up her shoulders. “I know I can’t replace -- anyone, but you two took me into your family and I want to stay there. I want to be there for you, Maria. Please let me.” 

Maria looked at her, a weary smile on her face. “Would you take no for answer?” 

Carol grinned back. “Hell no.” 

*

Monica was still awake by the time Carol got there, wearing Maria’s old bathrobe, which puddled down to her legs, and pink bunny slippers. She was holding a hot cup of coffee in her hand. 

“Did you make this?” Carol said, taking the cup when it was offered and sniffing it. It smelled normal. Monica gave her a look. 

“I know how to make coffee,” Monica said. “Doc came back and got Mom. She said they’d be back by six.” 

“You have school tomorrow,” Carol pointed out.

“You have work.” 

“All right,” Carol said with a sigh. “You can make more coffee, right?” 

Monica beamed at her and Carol smiled back fondly. Lieutenant Trouble was really on a roll. 

*

Afterwards, Carol struggled to make sense of what had happened. The circumstances of Maria and Doc Lawson’s last flight was shrouded in mystery. Even with all the official obfuscation, Carol wasn’t sure if anyone knew what had happened. They’d found the partially burned remains of one person, but the other one, closer to the blast -- was unrecoverable. Only a part of Maria’s dog-tags were found. 

Things happened quickly after that. It turned out she was in both the Doc’s and Maria’s will. She wasn’t sure why Doc thought she would be a good cat owner, but she’d inherited custody of Goose. Which sure, fine, even though everyone on base seemed to want the cat to stay there. It wasn't surprising. Goose was a really endearing little gal. 

Monica, on the other hand, was a more complicated story. Carol knew that Charlie had been an orphan and Maria had parents who lived in Louisiana. It made sense that Monica should stay with her grandparents, except -- Carol had custody. Maria must've made the change as soon as Charlie died. A part of Carol was touched that Maria trusted her with someone so precious, but another, louder, more grieving part wanted to know if Maria though she was going to die and had prepared for it. 

In any case, Project Pegasus was over for them. Whatever Doc had been researching, whatever she’d said would end wars, had obviously come to nothing. And now, she was gone and so was Maria. Sometimes Carol couldn't help but stare up into the brilliant desert sky and wonder where exactly Maria had gone. 

She was dead. Carol knew that. So why didn't she feel that? 

*

Carol had enough clout with her superiors to manage a transfer to the South. They wanted her to stop asking questions and go away. Fine by her, as long as they gave her a good parachute to land with. She had to look after Monica as well, after all. For a few years, Monica lived with her grandparents while Carol flew in and out of Barksdale. She was out by ‘92 and thought about transferring over to commercial flight, but the thrill just wasn't there. 

Besides, she needed to spend more time with Monica. 

Monica had gotten a lot quieter after her mother's death. Kids were more resilient than people gave them credit for, but Carol knew that Monica was hurting. Carol wanted to help her, but even she lacked the words. They would sit together, sometimes, and sort through the boxes and boxes of Maria’s things -- pictures of her in school and then in the Air Force, her wedding photos, and pictures of Monica as a baby, then, pictures of her partying with Carol. 

She always looked so happy in the pictures. Why couldn’t it have lasted? 

*

It was midnight when Goose was getting the cat-crazies and zooming around downstairs. Carol heard a loud thump and looked to the clock on her bedside table. She got up and checked on Monica, peacefully sleeping in her bed. Carol sighed and took the still-warm flashlight from Monica’s hand and put it away. That was when she heard an even louder noise just downstairs. It sounded like a car had crashed into the old oak tree up front. 

“Carol?” Monica was up, looking curious. 

“Stay here,” Carol instructed her, even though she knew the chance of Monica listening to her was less than zero. The two of them crept downstairs and were confront by the sight of Goose sitting calmly at the foot of the stairs, the front door yawning open in front of her. 

Goose chirruped as Carol and Monica came down cautiously. 

“What the fuck,” Carol muttered when Monica opened her mouth. “No, you can’t swear just because I do.” 

“You’re such a spoil-sport,” Monica said with a frown. “Anyway -- what’s out there?” 

What was out there took that moment to come in. 

Carol hadn’t seen Maria in six years at this point, but there was no question that this was her. She looked different -- she was dressed differently -- flannels, really? But she came through that door like she knew the place. Which made sense -- it was Maria’s childhood home, after all. After her parents had retired and wanted a smaller place, they’d asked Carol and Monica to look after it -- but it was still Maria’s home. 

“Maria?” Carol said, her voice shaking. “Where the hell have you been?” 

Maria looked her and then at Monica, who was uncharacteristically silent. She had picked up Goose and was squeezing her tight -- _not_ a good move when it came to Goose, but the cat seemed to tolerate it. Monica was Goose’s favorite. 

“Hi --” Maria said, her voice shaking a little bit. “I’m home.” 

(All hell broke loose after that.)


End file.
